Moms of Modesty

God seeking and modest women who answer the call to be homemakers.

Maidservants Wanted

Where is a maidservant when you need one?

Proverbs 31:15
She also rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household, and a portion for her maidservants.”
You know what this verse tells me? It tells me that even back then, mothers had outside help around the house. In fact, Holy books like the Bible and Qur’an speak of having slaves and servants all throughout but before I go any further, let me just clarify that slaves and servants were not like what we think and know of today. Slaves and servants in those days were what we would consider today to be “Molly Maids”  or something equal to that. This was a reasonable occupation to have if one chose to be that. They had rights and they were paid. It’s only the ugliness of the slave trade  in America, Europe, and in some Arab countries that made slavery so deplorable and a thing to look down upon and gave the word “slavery”  its new meaning.
Let me get back to my point. Why are we as moms acting like we can be all, do it all, and have it all, ALL AT THE SAME TIME. I must admit that before I had my last child, I didn’t think too highly of hired or even free help (from family or friends). I took pride in the fact that I was able to run my household, work full-time, and still have a  little bit of energy at the end of the day for some me time. Lately, this has not been the case and in the wake of my reality check, I have had a change of heart about how I view mothers who hire a nanny or a maid to help them keep their sanity. Mothers are not perfect, we are not Super Women with the ability to juggle all these different balls everyday, all day.
Everyday I start with a long list of To Do’s and many times, the clothes are left in the dryer all week, I miss a deadline at school for one of my kids activities, I never make it out of my pajamas until the end of the day onlywhen it’s time to go to bed again, or I’ve burned dinner because I’m monitoring the kid’s homework at the same time. Don’t get me wrong, I love my life no matter how crazy it is during the day. I just think that there is nothing wrong with having a little help around the house as needed to maintain a functional home. I don’t want to give the green light to mothers who want to take advantage and rely 100% on others to do what they are ultimately responsible for doing themselves.
Many cultures around the world see the importance of having someone in the home to aid with taking care of chores in the house in order to give the mother time to dedicate her time to the children and husband. In my husband’s culture, when a woman has small children, the women in the family will rally their support by cooking, cleaning, and running errands for at least the first 3 years after a woman has given birth  (and sometimes longer). This same practice is carried out all over the world and it just makes me wonder, maybe this is why they have more solid families. Children are never left alone. An adult is always at home tending to the needs of the child. It is only in America where women are so concerned about getting back to work and then we turn around leave our children with complete strangers all day. I’m not criticizing women who must work in order to provide for their children but some of us do CHOOSE to work and sacrifice this one and only opportunity to be with our babies at such a critical time. This does not go without saying that a lot of hired help or even families/friends cannot be trusted in our homes around our children AND husbands. Maybe this is why so many mothers feel they would rather do everything themselves (me, included).  
 I don’t have the luxury, financially, to hire someone to come in once a week to do major cleaning nor do I have the privilege of family or friends who would voluntarily help me, but I certainly don’t object to anyone who makes this choice anymore.
Happy Homemaking!
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C-sections Are On The Rise But So Are Natural Births

I’m glad to see more and more women advocating for natural births. I was unfortunate in all three of my pregnancies to never experience natural childbirth, even thought I wanted to. For medical reasons I had to have c-sections to deliver all of my children.

I think that c-sections are pushed on women more and more by doctors for a number of reasons. Many doctors like the convenience of a planned birth date as well as a growing number of women electing to have c-sections to avoid labor and inconvenience. Doctors, often times, make the assumption and persuade women to think that just because they had a previous c-section it is better to not elect for a vaginal birth and therefore another c-section is recommended. Medical problems that are not always worthy of a c-section and can be solved by other unconventional methods are looked down upon by doctors who are not open to these methods and the list goes on and on.

Giving birth is as natural as breathing, painful, but natural. The only assistance that women had back in the day during this spiritual and wonderful experience was the assistance of a midwife. Frankly, I am tired of male doctors (not to offensive) invading the most sacred and private parts of a woman’s body. I’m glad we have male doctors and they are needed but not too long ago, this was a profession occupied by women. There was something so natural about this whole process. In my case I have had all male doctors who delivered my children and if I had to do it all over again I would have chosen women. I think the older generations had it right. They knew that the midwife who was usually a close person in the family or a family friend who was well experienced at delivering children was able to relate to the woman’s physical and mental state during labor and delivery. A woman delivering a child could be free to physically and verbally expose herself without feeling shy, embarrased, or even intimidated by a male presence. The midwife knew that this moment was so personal and sacred and she handled the mother and baby with care as it were her very own life. This atmosphere of a woman giving birth was somewhat ceremonial. I’m sorry but you don’t get this experience in a cold and sterile hospital full of strangers and sick people. Hardly the ideal place to welcome new, human life.

Don’t get me wrong, I am fully aware that complications do arise and medical intervention is necessary but you have to wonder with the major increase in c-sections over the years what is really going on in our hospitals.  For some women a c-section can be avoided all together. This is major surgery that takes longer for a woman to heal from and it leaves a horrible scar (at least for me it did). I’m not totally against c-sections; c-sections have saved a lot of lives. I just question the reasons for the increase and if it’s really necessary and a lot of other women are doing the same thing. They realize that this is a natural part of life and they want to take back their right and power. The art of midwifery is making a come-back like never before because women know and understand its importance. Women seek midwives to give their bodies a fair chance to do what only comes naturally. Oh! and to avoid ugly scarring, long recoveries, and needles/meds among other things.

Happy Homemaking!


Female Gospel Singers: Help or Hindrance?

Romans 12:2

 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”

I’m deeply disturbed when I see women of God dressed like women of the world. I was recently watching an awards show (can’t remember which one) and my dear sisters, Mary Mary, were singing beautifully and glorifying God but their message was being hindered by what they were wearing. The outfits that one of the sisters had on was a low-cut, cleavage revealing dress that resembled something that would be worn to the club. While singing in this provocative outfit she was bouncing and dancing around making it hard not to notice her voluptuous breast jiggling all over the place. Now I know that if I found it hard to concentrate on the spirit of the music then  it was equally or even harder for the men that were viewing from the audience or from television to concentrate with a pure mind what it is they were singing about.

Are we as women of faith really trying to be virtuous women? Do we even know what it means in its totality? Those of us who claim to be Christian, Muslim, Jewish, etc. need to really go back to God’s word and see if we are doing a disservice to ourselves, our daughters, sons, husbands, and our community.

We cannot dress provocatively or like the world wants us to dress and think that it’s ok. With all the sexual crimes against women, children, promiscuity, and sexual references in our media and culture you would think that women everywhere would stand up and be responsible enough to dress modestly and teach our children to dress and understand the importance of being modest too.

It is true that a man is supposed to control himself, respect women, and turn away from such temptations but as women we have the responsibility to cover up and stop putting ourselves and our little girls out there to be objects of sexual desire. If you need an example of what real modesty looks like, look at Mary, the mother of Jesus. I don’t recall any images of her showing her breast, wearing painted on jeans, mini skirts, tattoos all over her body, and her hair dyed every color under the sun. No wonder men disrespect us; we have lowered our standard of decency. After all, Mary is the most respected and honored woman in history and the world and she did not have to dress like a hooker. She was modest and chaste; that’s why God used her. Let God fully use you too.