Moms of Modesty

God seeking and modest women who answer the call to be homemakers.

Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can cripple the mind.

Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me. How many times have we heard this statement growing up and yet as an adult we see far too often the power that words, in fact, do hold. We see it in the verbally abused wife and children by the husband and father. We see it on the playgrounds at school by the classroom bully, we see it in the overly critical family member or friend, and we even see it now in the digital age by way of texting, facebook, and twitter where these messages can go viral and destroy a person’s self-esteem, reputation, family, and sometimes there life.

Don’t get me wrong, I know the true meaning of the above sticks and stones statement but as in the situations stated earlier where physical abuse is sometimes accompanied with the verbal abuse, it’s a lot easier to heal and recover from a physical injury than verbal injury. Once a bruise or cut heals, you don’t feel the pain anymore and sometimes there is not a visible scar. However, words stick around in a person’s head and can play over and over again like a broken record. These words are implanted in our minds, most often during our formative years when we are impressionable and believe everything anyone tells us. If you tell a 5 year old he/she is worthless and will never amount to anything, they will believe it and you are on the path to crippling your child’s self-worth and how they will see and measure himself with the rest of society forever. Isn’t it true that we hold on to so much from our earlier lives, whether good or bad (mostly  bad)? These early memories and experiences leave lasting impressions and without some sort of divine intervention, it’s nearly impossible to correct or change old thinking.

 As mothers we have the power to build our children up with high esteem or to tear them down and set them on a long course of self-doubt, feelings of inadequacy, unworthiness, low self-esteem, and rejection. Are we speaking the right words to our children like God would have us to? We should demand this of ourselves, our teachers, and anyone else who has an influence in our child’s life.  Speak positive things because the world will do enough of the negative. Give your children a strong and positive base that they can always run back to after the world has beat them up. Don’t be the one responsible for crippling a young and impressionable mind beyond repair.

Happy Homemaking!

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In more ways than one, homeschooling just might save your child’s life.

As my children go through the many issues and problems of attending a public school, it only confirms my belief that our public schools have failed our greatest asset morally, educationally, nutritionally and physically. As parents, I believe we are responsible for holding the schools accountable, yet at the same time I greatly support and understand the need to homeschool children. If I had the resources available, I would immediately withdraw my children from public school and have them homeschooled.

More and more schools are turning our children into juvenile delinquents with records that will follow them the rest of their lives. This is partly because teachers and administration are reacting to misunderstood behaviors, different learning styles, learning difficulties, overcrowded classrooms, limited resources, anti-God curriculum, cell phone distractions, immodestly dressed young girls, violence, and outright chaos.

On the flip side, students are acting out against ill-fit authority who are only teaching to get a pay check, authority who don’t encourage and instead discourage students, authority who takes indecent liberties with students, authority who is not patient and take the extra time to make sure students are truly learning and not just being taught to pass a test, authority who is not prejudice and compromises their ability to be fair and impartial.

Homeschooling or having your child learn in a more controlled environment that focuses on God, family, self, and education is what a proper and successful educational experience is all about. Like the Bible says, the beginning of ALL WISDOM is the knowledge of God. This is the number one reason for the dumbing down in the classrooms all over America.

Happy Homemaking!

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In-laws and Elders Are The Backbone of Marriage

When things get hard in a marriage it can be so easy to think, well maybe it’s not meant to be and want to walk a way. I have been married for almost twelve years and Lord knows my spouse and I have had our share of ups and downs. The reason for this particular blog is to stress the importance of extended family support to rally around the couple to offer wisdom and counsel.

I think our culture has undone and minimized almost to a zero tolerance for in-law and elderly counsel as the back bone of a young marriage. This lack of importance of extended family can be excused away with the typical drama that we see with “monster-in-laws” and the rest of the negativity that often comes with marrying the “whole family”. This is another topic for another discussion. However, for the good and godly in-laws, other family, and friends, this support is necessary for the growth and development and often times the survival of a marriage. Nowadays, too many people are so quick to give in to the temptation of divorce or separation when they encounter difficulty in the relationship, be it adultery, lack of communication, lack of intimacy, different goals in life, or just plain boredom. 

This is why I admire my husband’s culture so much. Nigerian culture dictates that when irreconcilable problems arise in the marriage, the in-laws and elders of the community are called upon for their wisdom and counsel to save the marriage. This is not seen as intrusive or “airing dirty laundry” to family and strangers. These people are respected and trusted with personal information. They are there to lend an ear to listen and lend their voice to wisdom and counsel.  All pride is put aside for the sake of the marriage (especially if children are involved). The couple is not just left to themselves after marriage to resolve conflict or issues. What does a young couple know that older married people have not gone through, survived, and can now give testimony and advice to others on the same path.  If anyone who has ever been married knows, sometimes and outside voice can be the best voice of reason when husband and wife are highly emotionally and pride steps in the way.  Our family and elders remind us of our vows, commitment, and the importance of staying and working through marital problems. This support is necessary for the life of the marriage, the children who may be involved, and the community as a whole. After all, marriage is the first institution and without strong marriages, you don’t have strong families, and without strong families, you don’t have strong communities. This is why we see the moral breakdown in our society today. No one values marriage and family. When you have dysfunctional marriages and family, you have a dysfunctional society.

 Happy Homemaking!

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WHEN DID THINGS BECOME SO COMPLICATED?

As of lately, I’ve been watching a lot of Little House on the Prairie at night. Never before did I think that one day I would love this show. Only until a couple months ago when I was having one of those overwhelmed and stressed out mommy moments and began to realize the difficulties of trying to function in a dysfunctional society, did I appreciate the simplicity of the way things were before.

This was a world that was more slow paced, private, and quiet. Before computers, before video games, before PTA meetings, before hectic schedules, before…well, you get my point.

 I guess the reason I enjoy Little House on the Prairie so much is because deep down, I yearn for such a society and lifestyle when it comes to everyone knowing their assignment and role in the community. I desire for the peace and freedom that Charles and Laura Engels enjoyed with their family. Violence and crime was not the order of the day. Their children walked freely to and from school without worrying about some crazy person kidnapping or assaulting them in the process. The doors of homes did not have to be locked and dead bolted at night for fear of thieves breaking in. Children honored their parents and parents cherished their children. People ate and for the most part grew their own organic and fresh foods. Overmedication of drugs was certainly not on the scene. Most of all, God was alive and well in the everyday lives of the people.

 When did it all become so complicated? I guess society and life gradually became complicated when we removed God from the picture. Life became complicated when we decided that marriage and family was no longer relevant. Life became complicated when we convinced ourselves that homosexuality was acceptable. Life became complicated when we decided that filth and immorality was entertainment for the public. Life became complicated when men and women walked away from their responsibilities at home and to each other. Life became complicated when the food and water supply became tainted with steroids and chemicals that fill people with disease and death.

“The aspects of things that are most important for us are hidden because of their simplicity and familiarity”

-Ludwig Wittgenstein-

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Graduating from High School or from Playboy Academy?

What happened to just regular cap and gown photos?

If I saw this photo in my son or daughter’s yearbook, I would be first, upset and then I would have a lot of questions.

 
This beautiful young lady does not look like she is graduation from high school-an institution for learning and gaining skills that will be applied and developed in her life and career after high school. Instead, this image of herself place among other more modestly dressed and poised senior photos, says I’m looking for attention (in the wrong way). She might be a straight A student with a good reputation but one would never know it from this photo. Besides, this is a SCHOOL yearbook. There are plenty of other places she can post this photo  (facebook, twitter and her cell phone to name a few) if she is that proud of it. You would think that with all the social media outlets where pictures and videos are flying all over the place for the whole world to see, that this would be enough. Quite honestly, I’m surprised to see that yearbooks are still made and cherished in this high-tech digital age. Here’s my suggestion; schools should start making digital yearbooks (if they haven’t already) and maybe we can avoid problems like this….or better yet…parents should start checking their children at the door and recognize that somethings are just not appropriate and are just down right tacky!
 
I don’t blame her; I blame the parents for allowing her to submit the photo and saying it was acceptable to be put in a yearbook. I applaud the other students who stood up and deemed the photo distasteful and unacceptable to represent the school and themselves as a unified student body.
 
 
 
 
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Will The Real Housewives Of America Stand Up, PLEASE????

You're Fired: The Real Housewives Have Taken Over!

If I see another reality show about so call “housewives”, I think I’m going to scream!

First, let me start by saying that most of these so called “housewives” we are witnessing on all this reality nonsense are, for the most part, not even housewives. They are ex-girlfriends/lovers, divorcees, or, at best, wannabes.

I am so sick of these women giving real housewives a bad rep. Being a housewife is certainly not the glamorous life that they portray it to be on TV. Shopping sprees, self-pampering, and finding time to cat fight, gossip, and create drama is hardly what being a real housewife is all about. If these women were real housewives they would not have time to engage in such meaningless activities. May I even add that I have not seen one episode (no matter the city) of a housewife lift a finger to clean, cook, do homework with the kids, dress and behave like a woman of dignity, or even pray and reverence God. Instead, they are more concerned with getting boob jobs, money, and ratings.

I think that real housewives who take this position seriously and understand its value and the effect it has on the family and society should stand up against the media and the illusion they feed our society, especially women and mothers who think that this is what being a wife and mother is all about.

Casting Call:

Seeking Godly, modest housewives in every city of America for a new reality show titled:

The Real Housewives of Virtue

Disclosure: Might not get good ratings due to the no drama, sex, and foolishness act established by God Productions.

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Even Washing Dishes Glorifies God!

 

 

Sometimes I feel like all my housework is in vein. After all, as soon as I wash the dishes, sweep the floors, organize the toys, and wash clothes, it’s all going to get dirty all over again (most times, in a matter of minutes.) Then, I remember what I read in Ecclesiastes 2:  17-26 verses:

17 So I hated life, because the work that is wrought under the sun was grievous unto me; for all is vanity and a striving after wind. 18 And I hated all my labor wherein I labored under the sun, seeing that I must leave it unto the man that shall be after me. 19 And who knoweth whether he will be a wise man or a fool? yet will he have rule over all my labor wherein I have labored, and wherein I have showed myself wise under the sun. This also is vanity. 20 Therefore I turned about to cause my heart to despair concerning all the labor wherein I had labored under the sun. 21 For there is a man whose labor is with wisdom, and with knowledge, and with skillfulness; yet to a man that hath not labored therein shall he leave it for his portion. This also is vanity and a great evil. 22 For what hath a man of all his labor, and of the striving of his heart, wherein he labored under the sun? 23 For all his days are [but] sorrows, and his travail is grief; yea, even in the night his heart taketh no rest. This also is vanity. 24 There is nothing better for a man [than] that he should eat and drink, and make his soul enjoy good in his labor. This also I saw, that it is from the hand of God. 25 For who can eat, or who can have enjoyment, more than I? 26 For to the man that pleaseth Him [God] giveth wisdom, and knowledge, and joy; but to the sinner he giveth travail, to gather and to heap up, that he may give to him that pleaseth God. This also is vanity and a striving after wind.

You see in these verses that Solomon “hated life”. He felt all of his hard work and labor was in vein. He was so concerned with who would come after him when he was gone to destroy what he had built and accomplished. Solomon did not want a foolish person to be responsible for his accomplishments after he was no longer king.

This story can be approached several ways, but when I read it I automatically saw how this applied to my life as a homemaker and mother. A mother and homemaker’s life can be somewhat redundant, to say the least. It’s not glamorous, it get’s boring, the chores are never really done, and Lord knows, we surely don’t get the praise and thanks that we think we deserve. The most wonderful job in the world can yet be the most stressful and frustrating job as well. God; however, reminds us that nothing that we do for Him is in vein. He sees everything we do. No matter what a person’s title, job, or position it should be done as if God is the only person watching and let him be the one to reward us for our good works.

The life and role of a homemaker and mother is not meaningless. Even washing dishes honors and glorifies God!

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Cell Phones, Internet, and Social Networking: When It Comes To Children, The Disadvantages Far Outweigh The Advantages.

 

Okay, I can’t be the only parent in the world who feels that our children do not need cell phones, facebook/twitter accounts, and unmonitored internet access. I can’t tell you how many times I have seen a child barely old enough to spell the word “cellular” or even knows what it means,  talking and texting like he’s the CEO of a multi-million dollar company on the verge of securing, yet another million dollar contract.

Parents, why do we feel the need to be enablers to so much of the garbage that kids are exposed to through cell phones, internet, and social media?

Well, let me just go through a few of the excuses I found that, we as parents, and our children tell ourselves:

1) By middle school or junior high just, about all kids carry a “cell” at all times, so it makes them feel grown-up, like you trust them with something of value and they need to fit in with others.

2) Many kids take medication and/or have allergies and could need sudden attention. It is a safety issue really, so in an emergency they can always contact someone.

3) Most kids have working parents that need to be contacted after school or from activities.

4) The phones are generally not used during the day until high school, when kids mainly text message and make some calls between classes and after school as well, usually to coordinate plans or call for rides.

5) There are no or very few “pay phones” left in our area, so cells are the only way to reach people from public places.

6) Cells are great on weekends too for divorced families so kids can always reach the parent with whom they are not staying and the other parent can reach the child without having to go through the x-spouse.

7) There are great free or inexpensive games for entertainment in the car or in waiting areas.

8) They are just part of socialization here, as the home phone was when we were kids, except they have photos, videos, games and music as added value.

9) As far as the safety of the cells, my kid’s text, play games, and use the photos and video, more than they even talk on the phones.

10) Since our A T & T phones were free, and we share minutes that also rollover each month if not used, it is not much more of an additional expensive. We can save almost as much because don’t need a home phone at all really.

Here are a few reasons that your children should not have phones, unmonitored internet access, and be on social networking sites:

1.  You cannot monitor everything – we parents think we can, but the reality is we can’t. Not 24/7.

2. Openly disregarding the terms of use set by social media sites and you’re telling your child that online, rules are clearly meant to be broken.

3. Kids aren’t mature enough to understand personal privacy so everything will be out there. Plus, anyone – friend or not – will be able to scan your child’s wall, info and photos. Kids will friend everyone and ANYONE because they don’t understand privacy yet.

4. Cyber bullying

5. Why come up with another reason to stifle your kid’s time outside or their imagination? TV, movies and computer games already do enough of that … why add Facebook and phones.

6.  A cell phone bill for a child to mainly socialize and get into trouble is just an added expense that most parents don’t need.

7.  We don’t know the full extent of the dangers of radiation from cell phones, especially for developing children.

8.  Teens texting and driving have proven to be fatal in too many cases and the numbers are growing.

9. Sexting, Sexting, and Sexting!!!

10. Exposure to inappropriate content.

We can’t bubble-wrap our kids, but we can do our part as parents to give them the best start in life to make them successful and healthy adults.

Happy Homemaking!!!

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Too Much, Too Soon

Is This Taking Fashion Too Far?

Okay, these pictures are scary and sickening to say the least. When I saw these photos my jaw dropped, I got knots in my stomach, and I wanted to find the parents, the pageantry officials, the TLC network, and anybody else who thinks this is okay and have them locked up for child endangerment and any other charge fitting for negligence and contributing to the delinquency of a child.

These are the questions I have to ask:   What are we doing and thinking? Is this what we have come to? Prostituting and pimping our BABIES! FOR WHAT? Is it for fame, money, attention, or recognition? Do our children have any sanctity and worth?

I don’t care what a parents’ excuse is for this demeaning, stupid, immoral, and indecent behavior. This is clearly wrong and the whole industry and TLC should be shut down; they should be held accountable for parading innocent children around half naked, shaking their imaginations on stage, and posing in suggestive positions while parents and others in attendance cheer them on and act as if nothing is wrong.

I am so sick of this nonsense. Who will speak for these pitiful children with irresponsible so called “parents”?  I don’t apologize for the tone of this blog because I know deep down that this is one of the reasons that pedophilia is so rampant in our society. When child molesters see our little girls and boys dressing and acting like adults, these same sick and twisted adults get stimulated by the way your children look (especially if they are attracted to kids in the first place) and  they go on to act out their disgusting thoughts and fantasies on our children. While pedophilia continues to rise and we hear case after case, we as parents need to start taking every precaution we can to protect and safe guard our little ones. Cover their bodies up in appropriate clothes FOR CHILDREN, take the make-up off, take the grown-up jewelry off, and let them be involved in appropriate children’s activities like the Girl Scouts NOT DEMEANING PAGEANTS. What ever happened to teaching our daughters life skills like how to cook, clean, and behave like ladies? What ever happened to encouraging our daughters to do well in school and teaching them to use their heads and not their bodies to get ahead in life? Now we are so concerned with beauty, making money, and competing with other women over vein and unimportant things that are not relevant to a real woman’s life.  As a result, we have sold our souls and now our children’s souls to the devil. Don’t give me that crap about these girls wanting to be in pageants for themselves and not there parents. These girls wouldn’t know anything about a pageant if the parent or some other person didn’t introduced it to them first.

Parents, let’s stop the madness and take a long, hard look at ourselves, our children, and our society. Objectifying our children is not acceptable and in all honesty, it should be against the law because you are attracting negative attention to innocent and vulnerable children. You have the power to shape your children’s values, morals, and the way they see themselves and life and I, especially, challenge any of you parents who say you believe in God and choose to participate in this kind of behavior to explain how this glorifies God and dignifies women in any way.

 Look at these pictures and ask yourself what do you see?

Really?

 
 

This 10 year old girl looks like she is posing for Play Boy or Hustler magazine!

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

This little girl is supposed to be Julia Roberts (the prostitute) in the movie, Pretty Woman.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Wow! Need I say more?

 
 
 
 
 
 
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Maidservants Wanted

Where is a maidservant when you need one?

 
Proverbs 31:15
She also rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household, and a portion for her maidservants.”
 
You know what this verse tells me? It tells me that even back then, mothers had outside help around the house. In fact, Holy books like the Bible and Qur’an speak of having slaves and servants all throughout but before I go any further, let me just clarify that slaves and servants were not like what we think and know of today. Slaves and servants in those days were what we would consider today to be “Molly Maids”  or something equal to that. This was a reasonable occupation to have if one chose to be that. They had rights and they were paid. It’s only the ugliness of the slave trade  in America, Europe, and in some Arab countries that made slavery so deplorable and a thing to look down upon and gave the word “slavery”  its new meaning.
 
Let me get back to my point. Why are we as moms acting like we can be all, do it all, and have it all, ALL AT THE SAME TIME. I must admit that before I had my last child, I didn’t think too highly of hired or even free help (from family or friends). I took pride in the fact that I was able to run my household, work full-time, and still have a  little bit of energy at the end of the day for some me time. Lately, this has not been the case and in the wake of my reality check, I have had a change of heart about how I view mothers who hire a nanny or a maid to help them keep their sanity. Mothers are not perfect, we are not Super Women with the ability to juggle all these different balls everyday, all day.
Everyday I start with a long list of To Do’s and many times, the clothes are left in the dryer all week, I miss a deadline at school for one of my kids activities, I never make it out of my pajamas until the end of the day onlywhen it’s time to go to bed again, or I’ve burned dinner because I’m monitoring the kid’s homework at the same time. Don’t get me wrong, I love my life no matter how crazy it is during the day. I just think that there is nothing wrong with having a little help around the house as needed to maintain a functional home. I don’t want to give the green light to mothers who want to take advantage and rely 100% on others to do what they are ultimately responsible for doing themselves.
 
Many cultures around the world see the importance of having someone in the home to aid with taking care of chores in the house in order to give the mother time to dedicate her time to the children and husband. In my husband’s culture, when a woman has small children, the women in the family will rally their support by cooking, cleaning, and running errands for at least the first 3 years after a woman has given birth  (and sometimes longer). This same practice is carried out all over the world and it just makes me wonder, maybe this is why they have more solid families. Children are never left alone. An adult is always at home tending to the needs of the child. It is only in America where women are so concerned about getting back to work and then we turn around leave our children with complete strangers all day. I’m not criticizing women who must work in order to provide for their children but some of us do CHOOSE to work and sacrifice this one and only opportunity to be with our babies at such a critical time. This does not go without saying that a lot of hired help or even families/friends cannot be trusted in our homes around our children AND husbands. Maybe this is why so many mothers feel they would rather do everything themselves (me, included).  
 
 I don’t have the luxury, financially, to hire someone to come in once a week to do major cleaning nor do I have the privilege of family or friends who would voluntarily help me, but I certainly don’t object to anyone who makes this choice anymore.
 
Happy Homemaking!
 
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