Moms of Modesty

God seeking and modest women who answer the call to be homemakers.

In-laws and Elders Are The Backbone of Marriage

When things get hard in a marriage it can be so easy to think, well maybe it’s not meant to be and want to walk a way. I have been married for almost twelve years and Lord knows my spouse and I have had our share of ups and downs. The reason for this particular blog is to stress the importance of extended family support to rally around the couple to offer wisdom and counsel.

I think our culture has undone and minimized almost to a zero tolerance for in-law and elderly counsel as the back bone of a young marriage. This lack of importance of extended family can be excused away with the typical drama that we see with “monster-in-laws” and the rest of the negativity that often comes with marrying the “whole family”. This is another topic for another discussion. However, for the good and godly in-laws, other family, and friends, this support is necessary for the growth and development and often times the survival of a marriage. Nowadays, too many people are so quick to give in to the temptation of divorce or separation when they encounter difficulty in the relationship, be it adultery, lack of communication, lack of intimacy, different goals in life, or just plain boredom. 

This is why I admire my husband’s culture so much. Nigerian culture dictates that when irreconcilable problems arise in the marriage, the in-laws and elders of the community are called upon for their wisdom and counsel to save the marriage. This is not seen as intrusive or “airing dirty laundry” to family and strangers. These people are respected and trusted with personal information. They are there to lend an ear to listen and lend their voice to wisdom and counsel.  All pride is put aside for the sake of the marriage (especially if children are involved). The couple is not just left to themselves after marriage to resolve conflict or issues. What does a young couple know that older married people have not gone through, survived, and can now give testimony and advice to others on the same path.  If anyone who has ever been married knows, sometimes and outside voice can be the best voice of reason when husband and wife are highly emotionally and pride steps in the way.  Our family and elders remind us of our vows, commitment, and the importance of staying and working through marital problems. This support is necessary for the life of the marriage, the children who may be involved, and the community as a whole. After all, marriage is the first institution and without strong marriages, you don’t have strong families, and without strong families, you don’t have strong communities. This is why we see the moral breakdown in our society today. No one values marriage and family. When you have dysfunctional marriages and family, you have a dysfunctional society.

 Happy Homemaking!

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Maidservants Wanted

Where is a maidservant when you need one?

 
Proverbs 31:15
She also rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household, and a portion for her maidservants.”
 
You know what this verse tells me? It tells me that even back then, mothers had outside help around the house. In fact, Holy books like the Bible and Qur’an speak of having slaves and servants all throughout but before I go any further, let me just clarify that slaves and servants were not like what we think and know of today. Slaves and servants in those days were what we would consider today to be “Molly Maids”  or something equal to that. This was a reasonable occupation to have if one chose to be that. They had rights and they were paid. It’s only the ugliness of the slave trade  in America, Europe, and in some Arab countries that made slavery so deplorable and a thing to look down upon and gave the word “slavery”  its new meaning.
 
Let me get back to my point. Why are we as moms acting like we can be all, do it all, and have it all, ALL AT THE SAME TIME. I must admit that before I had my last child, I didn’t think too highly of hired or even free help (from family or friends). I took pride in the fact that I was able to run my household, work full-time, and still have a  little bit of energy at the end of the day for some me time. Lately, this has not been the case and in the wake of my reality check, I have had a change of heart about how I view mothers who hire a nanny or a maid to help them keep their sanity. Mothers are not perfect, we are not Super Women with the ability to juggle all these different balls everyday, all day.
Everyday I start with a long list of To Do’s and many times, the clothes are left in the dryer all week, I miss a deadline at school for one of my kids activities, I never make it out of my pajamas until the end of the day onlywhen it’s time to go to bed again, or I’ve burned dinner because I’m monitoring the kid’s homework at the same time. Don’t get me wrong, I love my life no matter how crazy it is during the day. I just think that there is nothing wrong with having a little help around the house as needed to maintain a functional home. I don’t want to give the green light to mothers who want to take advantage and rely 100% on others to do what they are ultimately responsible for doing themselves.
 
Many cultures around the world see the importance of having someone in the home to aid with taking care of chores in the house in order to give the mother time to dedicate her time to the children and husband. In my husband’s culture, when a woman has small children, the women in the family will rally their support by cooking, cleaning, and running errands for at least the first 3 years after a woman has given birth  (and sometimes longer). This same practice is carried out all over the world and it just makes me wonder, maybe this is why they have more solid families. Children are never left alone. An adult is always at home tending to the needs of the child. It is only in America where women are so concerned about getting back to work and then we turn around leave our children with complete strangers all day. I’m not criticizing women who must work in order to provide for their children but some of us do CHOOSE to work and sacrifice this one and only opportunity to be with our babies at such a critical time. This does not go without saying that a lot of hired help or even families/friends cannot be trusted in our homes around our children AND husbands. Maybe this is why so many mothers feel they would rather do everything themselves (me, included).  
 
 I don’t have the luxury, financially, to hire someone to come in once a week to do major cleaning nor do I have the privilege of family or friends who would voluntarily help me, but I certainly don’t object to anyone who makes this choice anymore.
 
Happy Homemaking!
 
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C-sections Are On The Rise But So Are Natural Births

I’m glad to see more and more women advocating for natural births. I was unfortunate in all three of my pregnancies to never experience natural childbirth, even thought I wanted to. For medical reasons I had to have c-sections to deliver all of my children.

I think that c-sections are pushed on women more and more by doctors for a number of reasons. Many doctors like the convenience of a planned birth date as well as a growing number of women electing to have c-sections to avoid labor and inconvenience. Doctors, often times, make the assumption and persuade women to think that just because they had a previous c-section it is better to not elect for a vaginal birth and therefore another c-section is recommended. Medical problems that are not always worthy of a c-section and can be solved by other unconventional methods are looked down upon by doctors who are not open to these methods and the list goes on and on.

Giving birth is as natural as breathing, painful, but natural. The only assistance that women had back in the day during this spiritual and wonderful experience was the assistance of a midwife. Frankly, I am tired of male doctors (not to offensive) invading the most sacred and private parts of a woman’s body. I’m glad we have male doctors and they are needed but not too long ago, this was a profession occupied by women. There was something so natural about this whole process. In my case I have had all male doctors who delivered my children and if I had to do it all over again I would have chosen women. I think the older generations had it right. They knew that the midwife who was usually a close person in the family or a family friend who was well experienced at delivering children was able to relate to the woman’s physical and mental state during labor and delivery. A woman delivering a child could be free to physically and verbally expose herself without feeling shy, embarrased, or even intimidated by a male presence. The midwife knew that this moment was so personal and sacred and she handled the mother and baby with care as it were her very own life. This atmosphere of a woman giving birth was somewhat ceremonial. I’m sorry but you don’t get this experience in a cold and sterile hospital full of strangers and sick people. Hardly the ideal place to welcome new, human life.

Don’t get me wrong, I am fully aware that complications do arise and medical intervention is necessary but you have to wonder with the major increase in c-sections over the years what is really going on in our hospitals.  For some women a c-section can be avoided all together. This is major surgery that takes longer for a woman to heal from and it leaves a horrible scar (at least for me it did). I’m not totally against c-sections; c-sections have saved a lot of lives. I just question the reasons for the increase and if it’s really necessary and a lot of other women are doing the same thing. They realize that this is a natural part of life and they want to take back their right and power. The art of midwifery is making a come-back like never before because women know and understand its importance. Women seek midwives to give their bodies a fair chance to do what only comes naturally. Oh! and to avoid ugly scarring, long recoveries, and needles/meds among other things.

Happy Homemaking!

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Raunchy Lyrics, Raunchy Children

Is Music Corrupting Our Children?

Read these lyrics and answer the question for yourself.

This one is for the boys with the boomin’ system

Top down, AC with the coolin’ system

When he come up in the club, he be blazin’ up

Got stacks on deck like he savin’ up

And he ill, he real, he might got a deal

He pop bottles and he got the right kind of build

He cold, he dope, he might sell coke

He always in the air, but he never fly coach

 He a muthafuckin trip, trip, sailor of the ship, ship

When he make it drip, drip kiss him on the lip, lip

That’s the kind of dude I was lookin’ for

And yes you’ll get slapped if you’re lookin’ ho

I said, excuse me you’re a hell of a guy

I mean my, my, my, my you’re like pelican fly

I mean, you’re so shy and I’m loving your tie

You’re like slicker than the guy with the thing on his eye,

oh Yes I did, yes I did Somebody please tell him who the eff I is

I am Nicki Minaj, I mack them dudes upBack coupes up, and chuck the deuce up

 Boy you got my heartbeat runnin’ away

Beating like a drum and it’s coming your way

Can’t you hear that boom, badoom, boomBoom, badoom, boom bass?

He got that super bassBoom, badoom, boomBoom, badoom, boom bass

Yeah that’s that super bass Boom, badoom, boomBoom, badoom, boom, he got that super bassBoom, badoom, boomBoom, badoom, boom, yeah that’s that super bass

 This one is for the boys in the Polos

Entrepreneur niggas in the moguls

He could ball with the crew, he could solo

But I think I like him better when he dolo

 And I think I like him better with the fitted cap on

He ain’t even gotta try to put the mac on

He just gotta give me that look, when he give me that look

Then the panties comin’ off, off,

unh Excuse me, you’re a hell of a guy

You know I really got a thing for American guys

I mean, sigh, sickenin’ eyes

I can tell that you’re in touch with your feminine side, oh Yes I did, yes I did

Somebody please tell him who the eff I is

I am Nicki Minaj, I mack them dudes up

Back coupes up, and chuck the deuce up

 Boy you got my heartbeat runnin’ away

Beating like a drum and it’s coming your way

Can’t you hear that boom, badoom, boomBoom, badoom, boom bass?

 He got that super bassBoom, badoom, boomBoom, badoom, boom bassYeah that’s that super bass Boom, badoom, boomBoom, badoom, boom, he got that super bassBoom, badoom, boomBoom, badoom, boom, yeah that’s that super bass

See I need you in my life for me to stay

No, no, no, no, no I know you’ll stay

No, no, no, no, no don’t go away

Boy you got my heartbeat runnin’ away

Don’t you hear that heartbeat comin’ your way?Oh it be like, boom, badoom, boomBoom, badoom, boom bass

Can’t you hear that boom, badoom, boomBoom, badoom, boom bass?

 Boy you got my heartbeat runnin’ away Beating like a drum and it’s coming your wayCan’t you hear that boom, badoom, boomBoom, badoom, boom bass?

He got that super bassBoom, badoom, boomBoom, badoom, boom bassYeah that’s that super bass Boom, badoom, boomBoom, badoom, boom, he got that super bassBoom, badoom, boomBoom, badoom, boom, yeah that’s that super bass

Oh mom, this is my song! Can you turn it up? This is what I hear when I get into the car with my children and this is where I have to be the music police. My children hate riding with me because they know that they are going to have to listen to talk radio, gospel music, jazz, or something old school and less toxic.

Before I became a mother I loved to listen to hip hop, pop, r&b, rock, and even a little country; however, after becoming a mother and really submitting my will to God my eyes became open and I began to notice a disturbing pattern in music and entertainment. This pattern is sex, partying, drinking and drugging, promiscuity, bad language, degrading women, and material lust. When you’re young, you don’t think much about the lyrics in music and what is really being planted into your subconscious. I know that for myself, I want to guard my own mind  as well as my children’s and keep it on things of God, righteous, and uplifting. I don’t know about you but I don’t think that what we are hearing in music today is hardly  righteous and uplifting. I surely don’t want to hear about “I kissed a girl and I liked it” as Katy Perry so eloquently put it while I’m riding with my kids in the car. Music is supposed to tell stories (positive stories), uplift, encourage, and be lovely…NOT suggestive, raunchy, degrading, and negative. Music is another form of meditation and if your children are meditating on music like this in the car, on the bus, at school, etc.., then what you have is a toxic world feeding your children lies, deception and immorality that persuades and entices them to think that this behavior is ok and acceptable.

 With 98% of today’s popular music carrying toxic messages no wonder we have so much teenage pregnancy, STD’s homosexuality, materialistic, and immediate gratification seeking kids (and adults). We as parents all know that children imitate what they see and hear in music more than what they see and hear from their parents. While radio stations may think they’re getting away with so-called “censoring” and bleeping out certain words, kids (especially teens) are not stupid. They know exactly what is being said.  That’s why when I saw this you tube video, I cringed. First of all, as a mother, there is no way I would have my child parade around in private or publicly reciting filth and garbage that I, as an adult, would not even sing even if my life depended on it. Yeah, I know that the family is actually from England and they may not know exactly what is being said in this song. However, if they were really concerned about what their children were listening to, all it would have taken was a little research on the internet before they went on national television singing and dancing to a song that one would hardly call appropriate for any man, woman , or child to sing. Had the parents done this, I don’t think little Sophia and Rosie would have been on the Ellen show.

The radio stations, artists, and, entire music industry should be more responsible in the music they feed the public but since it doesn’t look like that will happen anytime soon, parents need to stop buying music from these people, stop supporting their work, we need to monitor our children’s iPods, car radio, and videos on tv (the images plus the music is a double whammy).

I know that kids are kids and they are going to hear such music no matter what we do or say, BUT……still do your job as a parent and be curious about what they are listening to and talk to them about what it is they are hearing. And yes parents…if you are listening to this raunchy music yourself, I would ask you what are you meditating on. I love music just as much as the next person but there is an alternative. There is a lot of music (other than inspirational) that is clean, wholesome,  and fun to rock to, you just may have to search a little bit.

Philippians 4:8: We are told to dwell on whatever is true, right, pure, lovely, excellent, and worthy of praise.

Look at these song titles from ALL of Nikki Minaj’s albums and it will give you a clue as to what the actual lyrics in the song are like:

Barbie world

  1. Dang  a lang lyrics
  2. F**k u silly lyrics
  3. Getting  paid lyrics
  4. Girlfriend      lyrics
  5. Take it off lyrics

Gold

  1. Blow  your mind lyrics
  2. Catch   me lyrics
  3. Dear old nicki lyrics
  4. Did  it on em lyrics
  5. Feel free lyrics
  6. Fly      lyrics
  7. Girls  fall like dominoes lyrics
  8. I’m  the best lyrics
  9. I      ain’t thru lyrics
  10. Last      chance lyrics
  11. moment      4 life lyrics + video
  12. Muny      lyrics
  13. Raining      men lyrics
  14. Romans      revenge (Remix) lyrics
  15. Save      me lyrics
  16. Super      bass lyrics
  17. Wave ya hand lyrics
It’s barbie bitch
  1. Baddest        bitch lyrics
  2. Best
  3. Break        up lyrics
  4. Brraattt
  5. Can’t        stop
  6. Click        clack lyrics
  7. Craziness
  8. Dang        a lang lyrics
  9. Dead        wrong lyrics
  10. Dopeman        lyrics
  11. Dreams        lyrics
  12. Feel        free lyrics
  13. firm        biz 08′ lyrics
  14. Getting        paid lyrics
  15. Handstand        lyrics
  16. High
  17. Intro
  18. Itty        bitty piggy lyrics
  19. My        ladies
  20. N.I.G.G.A.S.        lyrics
  21. New        york minute lyrics
  22. Spending        cake
  23. Sticks        in my bun lyrics
  24. Strippin’        in the club lyrics
  25. Sunshine        lyrics
  26. Warning        lyrics

Other songs

  1. Beam        me up scotty lyrics
  2. Check        it out lyrics
  3. Dopeman        lyrics
  4. Easy        lyrics
  5. Massive        attack lyrics + video
  6. moment        4 life lyrics + video
  7. Monster        lyrics
  8. Playtime        is over lyrics
  9. Your        love lyrics + video

Pink friday

  1. Blazin’      lyrics
  2. Blow      ya mind lyrics
  3. Check      it out lyrics
  4. Dear      old nicki lyrics
  5. Did      it on’em lyrics
  6. Fly      lyrics
  7. Girls      fall like dominoes lyrics
  8. Here      i am lyrics
  9. I’m      the best lyrics
  10. Last      chance lyrics
  11. Massive      attack lyrics + video
  12. moment      4 life lyrics + video
  13. Muny      lyrics
  14. Right      thru me lyrics + video
  15. Roman’s      revenge lyrics
  16. Save      me lyrics
  17. Super      bass lyrics
  1. Your love lyrics + video

suckafree 2.0

  1. Affirmative      action lyrics
  2. Beef      stew lyrics
  3. Big      bidness
  4. Excellent
  5. Get      ya money right
  6. Keys      under palm trees lyrics
  7. Million      dollar baby
  8. Pamper      me
  9. Slumber      party lyrics
  10. Still      i rise lyrics
  11. Story      of nicki (Intro)
  12. Sunshine      lyrics
  13. Tambourine      lyrics
  14. The biggest freak ly
Happy Homemaking!
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Be Careful Who You Allow Around Your Children

Children Must Be Protected No Matter What

Child sex abuse seems to be on the rise and not going away anytime soon. With child sex trafficking, pornography, pedifiles, and the list goes on and on, it makes one wonder what in the world is happening? Well, I am not surprised…..disturbed, but not surprised. This sick and twisted behavior has been going on for a very long time behind closed doors but with technology and 24 hour media, we are getting a reality check and to some a wake up call.

When I was growing up my mother never let me spend the night with friend’s or even relatives for that matter. I didn’t understand her reasoning at the time and was very upset and critical of her rules and judgements. Looking back, I would say that I had a very strong, protective, and loving mother. My mother didn’t trust ANYONE. She didn’t care if it was a close relative a close friend of the family and don’t even mention a complete stranger…she knew something that I didn’t then and in the wake of all these child sex abuse scandals, I’m comfortable in saying that parents everywhere need to adopt my moms philosophy….TRUST NO ONE!!!

As a child I didn’t know anything about pedifiles or adults (or even older children) who were seeking out and preying on underage relatives, friends of the family and neighbors. To get permission to sleep over at a friend’s house I would give my mom every excuse in the book. I would say that my other friends get to spend the night at other people’s houses or  you just don’t want me to have any fun or my friend’s parents’ are going to be home all night. In my mother’s head she was thinking that’s exactly who I’m trying to protect you from. I remember on many occasions telling my mother that you just don’t trust me and every time she would respond, it’s not that I don’t trust you, I don’t trust other people. See, she knew the little, BIG secrets that were dared to be spoken of in some families.

Not only was sleep overs off-limits but my mother limited her own life in order protect my sister and I. As a young and beautiful  single mother raising two girls she  could have had any man she wanted. Instead, she waited until her children were grown and out of the house before she got married. She did not want to bring strange men around her daughters because she didn’t trust men who were not our biological fathers to be in the company of her daughters. How many stories have I heard about a mother dating a man and he ends up abusing the son or daughter? TOO MANY. My mother was smart and strong enough to put her wants aside in order to guard our chastity. My mother also had enough respect for herself and her children to not date and have men coming in and out of our home. My mother’s wise decision to never leave my sister and I in the care of any man for fear of them taking indecent liberties with her daughters (and of course other lesser things) has taught me how to be a better mother to my own children.

Some mothers that are looking for Mr. Right and looking for love and affection are finding out that all the while Mr. Right is looking at their son or daughter. These men prey on single mothers in order to get close to the children so they can sexually abuse them and what’s even worse is that sometimes the mother will deny the abuse and allow it to happen in order to hang on to her man. If your children can’t trust and rely on you to do right by them then who are they able to turn to?

As a married woman with a wonderful husband, I don’t have to worry about my children and their father but I do worry about teachers, coaches, their friend’s parents, neighbors,  pastors, mentors, relatives, and strangers. This is not to say I actually have reason to believe that any of these people have done harm to my children but my philosophy is that anyone and everyone are potential suspects. The truth is you don’t really know who people are today. Did anyone know who Jerry Sanduski was? Isn’t it the same theme sometimes with these people? They are good with children, they love being around them, they are nice and caring, and many of them are professionals or outstanding people we look up to in the community.

Ever since my children could talk, I have been teaching them that no one should touch you inappropriately or ask you to take your clothes off. Even as their own mother, I give them privacy in the bathroom, privacy getting dressed (when they are old enough to dress themselves),etc., and I tell them to demand this everywhere they go. There is no excuse for an adult (who ise not the parent) to sleep with a child in the same bed. There is no excuse for an adult to be naked and horseplaying around with children (not even parents). It is sad that I even have to present these conversations to my children and make them aware of such filth because they don’t understand what is really happening in our society. All they hear is don’t, don’t, don’t and they ask why, why, why. Children just can’t be children anymore. Because of child predators, the internet, pornography, sexual and provocative music, television, clothes, and people I have to be vigilant and guard the thing I love most. If this means having conversations with them at tender ages that I am not really comfortable having or I think they are not prepared for, then It’s a fear I have to embrace in order to protect my child’s life and virtue.

  • Pedophiles are notoriously friendly, nice, kind, engaging and likeable.
  • Pedophiles target their victims, often insinuating themselves into that child’s life through their family, school, house of worship, sports, and hobbies.
  • Pedophiles are professional con artists and are experts at getting children and families to trust them.
  • Pedophiles will smile at you, look you right in the eye and make you believe they are trustworthy.
  • WOMEN are on the rise as pedifiles too. ANYONE AND EVERYONE IS SUSPECT.

Watch everyone in your child’s life!

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Manicures, Pedicures, and Eye Brows: Move Over Ladies!

Not too long ago my sister and I had a girls outing and decided to go get our nails done at the salon. I hardly ever get my nails done professionally but at the time I was 9 months pregnant and in desperate need for some pampering. After we got there  I was hugely disturbed by what I witnessed. I saw two gentlemen getting manicures and pedicures along side with their wives and even more disturbing is that the wives seemed to be perfectly ok with it. Now, what I’m referring to is not the fact that another woman was massaging their feet and hands instead, I am concerned about how more and more we are accepting our men to become softened by this society and culture.

A generation ago if you asked a man if he wanted to go get his nails and feet done he would have almost cursed you out and would have been offended. Now, it’s as though the pressure for men to be beautiful and perfectly groomed is on the rise. I would have expected to see men of a different persuasion sitting in those chairs because at least then I would have understood (not that I agree with it or it makes it right) but the mere fact that these were straight men receiving services that only women should be getting does not sit well with me and I wanted to speak about it.

I don’t recall any of the men in my life (father, grandfather, etc..) as I was growing up concerned about having neatly groomed  clear coated nails, soft feet, and perfectly threaded eyebrows. Back then, men were men. They were providers, they worked hard outside the home, cut the grass, worked on cars, and fixed things around the house. Their idea of grooming was making sure they a decent haircut and they didn’t smell like car oil. Don’t get me wrong, every man needs to take pride in how they look and I definitely love for my husband to smell good. All I’m saying is that the man and woman are not supposed to compete in anyway. Instead of manicuring the yard, he’s manicuring his nails. I shouldn’t be comparing my fingernails to my husbands and admiring his manicure. The bible says that the woman is the glory of any man. I don’t know about you but when I go to the nail salon and I’m trying to relax and get a manicure or pedicure I don’t want to see a masculine man and his masculine hands or feet being pampered in the midst of a host of women and he’s layed back like this is normal.

Women we need to step our game up, call it like it is, and stop acting like this is ok. I know for myself as a woman we are naturally attracted to a man’s strong and firm hands and it’s ok if they are a little hard and rough. It shows that he is a man not afraid of work. A woman’s hands are soft and gentle and are supposed to be used to console and comfort her husband. I’m sorry if I’m offending anyone but a salon is not the place for a man unless you’re fixing a toilet or something inside. Let’s stop trying to be what we are not and embrace our God given assignment and role as woman and man. There is a clear distinction in the male and female and I our culture is doing their darndest to blur the lines. If this was ok, men everywhere would have been doing it since the beginning of time. Next time you go to the salon, count how many men (especially straight men) you see. The numbers are growing and it makes me wonder what next?

How does this relate to homemaking? In the institution of marriage and family the man was created stronger (physically) than the female. He is the leader, provider, and protector of the wife, family, and home. These types of feminine activities and tendencies discredits the beauty of the man. When the man is discredited he is not properly respected in society and at home. When men don’t behave as men at home it opens the door for confusion and other problems that will eventually disrupt a woman’s ability to fully function in her role and purpose as a wife and mother.

Oh! while my sister was selecting a nail color a gentlemen sitting next to her asked her what color was she getting. Hellooooooooo! What’s wrong with that picture? Needless to say, my sister was like okayyyyyyyyyy! Why does it matter to you?

Get my point?

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Single Black Male Looking For Single White Or Anything Other Than Black Female

I know you’re thinking what does this have to do with being modest or being a homemaker. Well, it has a lot to do with the fact that so many black women don’t have the luxury of being stay at home moms because the black men who do happen to be good providers and don’t mind their wives being full-time homemakers are married to white women. don’t get me wrong, I am in no way bashing black men because I understand the heavy impact of colonialism and how it plays into the psyche of black males today, however, there comes a point when one must question his thought process and ask himself is it really love when you see black men flocking to white women by the thousands or is there something deeper and more disturbing taking place. That’s why having a good knowledge of one’s history, self, and the conspiracy in America towards black men and women is important in breaking down the mental chains of slavery.

I would like to make it clear that I am not begging any of my black brothers to realize the sacredness and the beauty of the black woman even though now a days it’s not so apparant. We have been morally raped and we are now acting out in a desperate cry for attention and acceptance. For the brothers who don’t even want to give a sister the time of day because you need a trophy girlfriend or wife, a mixed child you can parade around with as if you didn’t yourself come from the womb of a black woman deeply disturbs me. Maybe these brothers feel that black women have too much baggage and drama and to be quite honest I don’t know any woman that doesn’t have some baggage at some point in her life.

Check out this article I found that discusses some of the VALID reasons why I think we are seeing this epidemic grow more and more.

Why Black Men Love White Women author Rajen Persaud Q&A with DSN (Pt. 1)

Posted by  shawnpwilliams on Jan 28th, 2010 and filed under Featured, Interviews, Lorrie Irby Jackson, Opinion. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry

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By Lorrie Irby Jackson – Dallas South News Contributor

With our nation’s first African-American president now in the White House, as well as the never-ending drama of black and white issues in popular culture, I figured it was a good time to revisit one of the most honest and insightful books on race relations that I’ve ever read, Rajen Persaud’s Why Black Men Love White Women.

Don’t let the incendiary title fool you: instead of it being an instruction manual on how to diss the sisters or giving credence to often-circulated and tired stereotypes, 2007’s Why…. intertwines the author’s own personal observations and experience with facts, percentages and thoroughly researched explanations behind the mindset and motivations of brothers who seem to trip over the sisters in the pursuit of non-blacks for love and companionship.

From his home in New York City, the day trader, filmmaker and lecturer peppered our chat with his explosive views on the recent Essence and Vanity Fair magazine cover controversies, his take on the Tiger Woods debacle and our duties to the young people in our lives to keep them from making some of the same racially-centered errors in life.

why black men.... cover

Lorrie Irby Jackson: A lot of subscribers were upset by Essence’s decision to feature New Orleans Saints football star, Reggie Bush, on their annual Black Love issue, since he’s very publically-dating the non-black Kim Kardashian. Why do you think they opted to feature him that manner?

Rajen Persaud: Well, Essence magazine is no longer a black-owned entity, it is now a Time-Warner product. So you can say what you want about them, but there certainly not interested in the plight and feelings of the black woman. They’re basically sending that message that they don’t care about black love in general.

RAJEN PERSAUDRAJEN PERSAUD

When they used to talk about black love, the cover would include a black couple. So, their putting Reggie on the cover is is advertising for a refund, because the White Establishment wants a rebate on the money their paying these negroes. When the white women stop going with these entertainers and athletes, they get paid, and that’s a rebate to the white community, so it’s in their best interest. They used to get a ‘n*****’ rebate; jewlery, cars,  dope, liquor, spending as much as they can in the white community, so that’s why they don’t mind advertising back to more whites. They’re not stupid.

I used to call Essence mag OpprEssence. They used to have two columns, “Brothers” and “Interiors,” and practically every column was written by a woman claiming to be suffering at the hands of a black man.

In some way, shape or form the black man was the cause of all of her problems, and her evolution out of that problem, and it was always about a sorry negro who had problems with black women. I was wondering who were they talking to, and this was back in the 1990’s.

LIJ: How do you feel about the recent Tiger Woods Vanity Fair cover? A lots of blacks are of the opinion that this was the media’s way of portraying him as what they truly see him as—a thug.

RP: And they’re right. More importantly, they wanted to show you the field n*****, the one that chases white women.  They wanted to show the big, black buck. Tiger Woods was the most emasculated man in the world of sports. Now with all of the reported activity with the white women, they finally got the big black buck image that they wanted to destroy him with. It’s the equivalent of that darkened OJ mugshot for the cover of Time Magazine. Now, Tiger is going to be fine from an athletic standpoint: some of his endorsements may split, but other companies needing a spokesperson will need his image, because it will generate interest in their product because of who’s endorsing it.

LIJ: Do you see the same for his marriage?

RJ: Whether they divorce or not, Elin should not be too upset, because  the same reason Tiger cheated on her was for the same reason how a nanny could snag a billionaire, and that is Tiger Woods  is suffering from self –hate that’s generated from a colonized mind. A colonized mind believes that everything outside of his black world is better than he is. Which is why he would go and marry his friends’s nanny.

He had his pick of the litter from black women, asian women, those with the same amount or more money, or  just as educated or more educated, but he believed that a white nanny was the best thing he could get and that white nanny was the medication for that psychological malady of self-hate—-but she was only one dose,  and he needed a couple of more spoonfuls.

Elin should thank her lucky stars that there was slavery, because otherwise no one would know her name and she would be a broke nanny mopping floors in Sweden someplace. You find me a millionaire white athlete that’s married to a black maid, nanny, or even to a Jamaican home attendant. You can’t do it. And you couldn’t find me one among Asians, Indians, or anyone else. Only with black men.

We have to ask ourselves the question if Tiger Woods  had been a shipping manager at UPS/post office, would he have gotten Elin? She wasn’t even a nanny for a black golfer. This woman got paid off of the legacy of slavery, so even if they divorce, she shouldn’t be mad—just take the money and run. If she stays for any reason, it’s prostitution.  And this could set a legal precedent that could end up in court. If a woman’s gonna stay with me for an hour and I’m paying her, there’s no difference between what Tiger Woods  is doing and what I’m doing, because what he’s doing in that pre-nup is offering money for the amount of time she stays with him.

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