Moms of Modesty

God seeking and modest women who answer the call to be homemakers.

Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can cripple the mind.

Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me. How many times have we heard this statement growing up and yet as an adult we see far too often the power that words, in fact, do hold. We see it in the verbally abused wife and children by the husband and father. We see it on the playgrounds at school by the classroom bully, we see it in the overly critical family member or friend, and we even see it now in the digital age by way of texting, facebook, and twitter where these messages can go viral and destroy a person’s self-esteem, reputation, family, and sometimes there life.

Don’t get me wrong, I know the true meaning of the above sticks and stones statement but as in the situations stated earlier where physical abuse is sometimes accompanied with the verbal abuse, it’s a lot easier to heal and recover from a physical injury than verbal injury. Once a bruise or cut heals, you don’t feel the pain anymore and sometimes there is not a visible scar. However, words stick around in a person’s head and can play over and over again like a broken record. These words are implanted in our minds, most often during our formative years when we are impressionable and believe everything anyone tells us. If you tell a 5 year old he/she is worthless and will never amount to anything, they will believe it and you are on the path to crippling your child’s self-worth and how they will see and measure himself with the rest of society forever. Isn’t it true that we hold on to so much from our earlier lives, whether good or bad (mostly  bad)? These early memories and experiences leave lasting impressions and without some sort of divine intervention, it’s nearly impossible to correct or change old thinking.

 As mothers we have the power to build our children up with high esteem or to tear them down and set them on a long course of self-doubt, feelings of inadequacy, unworthiness, low self-esteem, and rejection. Are we speaking the right words to our children like God would have us to? We should demand this of ourselves, our teachers, and anyone else who has an influence in our child’s life.  Speak positive things because the world will do enough of the negative. Give your children a strong and positive base that they can always run back to after the world has beat them up. Don’t be the one responsible for crippling a young and impressionable mind beyond repair.

Happy Homemaking!

Advertisements
Leave a comment »

In more ways than one, homeschooling just might save your child’s life.

As my children go through the many issues and problems of attending a public school, it only confirms my belief that our public schools have failed our greatest asset morally, educationally, nutritionally and physically. As parents, I believe we are responsible for holding the schools accountable, yet at the same time I greatly support and understand the need to homeschool children. If I had the resources available, I would immediately withdraw my children from public school and have them homeschooled.

More and more schools are turning our children into juvenile delinquents with records that will follow them the rest of their lives. This is partly because teachers and administration are reacting to misunderstood behaviors, different learning styles, learning difficulties, overcrowded classrooms, limited resources, anti-God curriculum, cell phone distractions, immodestly dressed young girls, violence, and outright chaos.

On the flip side, students are acting out against ill-fit authority who are only teaching to get a pay check, authority who don’t encourage and instead discourage students, authority who takes indecent liberties with students, authority who is not patient and take the extra time to make sure students are truly learning and not just being taught to pass a test, authority who is not prejudice and compromises their ability to be fair and impartial.

Homeschooling or having your child learn in a more controlled environment that focuses on God, family, self, and education is what a proper and successful educational experience is all about. Like the Bible says, the beginning of ALL WISDOM is the knowledge of God. This is the number one reason for the dumbing down in the classrooms all over America.

Happy Homemaking!

Leave a comment »

In-laws and Elders Are The Backbone of Marriage

When things get hard in a marriage it can be so easy to think, well maybe it’s not meant to be and want to walk a way. I have been married for almost twelve years and Lord knows my spouse and I have had our share of ups and downs. The reason for this particular blog is to stress the importance of extended family support to rally around the couple to offer wisdom and counsel.

I think our culture has undone and minimized almost to a zero tolerance for in-law and elderly counsel as the back bone of a young marriage. This lack of importance of extended family can be excused away with the typical drama that we see with “monster-in-laws” and the rest of the negativity that often comes with marrying the “whole family”. This is another topic for another discussion. However, for the good and godly in-laws, other family, and friends, this support is necessary for the growth and development and often times the survival of a marriage. Nowadays, too many people are so quick to give in to the temptation of divorce or separation when they encounter difficulty in the relationship, be it adultery, lack of communication, lack of intimacy, different goals in life, or just plain boredom. 

This is why I admire my husband’s culture so much. Nigerian culture dictates that when irreconcilable problems arise in the marriage, the in-laws and elders of the community are called upon for their wisdom and counsel to save the marriage. This is not seen as intrusive or “airing dirty laundry” to family and strangers. These people are respected and trusted with personal information. They are there to lend an ear to listen and lend their voice to wisdom and counsel.  All pride is put aside for the sake of the marriage (especially if children are involved). The couple is not just left to themselves after marriage to resolve conflict or issues. What does a young couple know that older married people have not gone through, survived, and can now give testimony and advice to others on the same path.  If anyone who has ever been married knows, sometimes and outside voice can be the best voice of reason when husband and wife are highly emotionally and pride steps in the way.  Our family and elders remind us of our vows, commitment, and the importance of staying and working through marital problems. This support is necessary for the life of the marriage, the children who may be involved, and the community as a whole. After all, marriage is the first institution and without strong marriages, you don’t have strong families, and without strong families, you don’t have strong communities. This is why we see the moral breakdown in our society today. No one values marriage and family. When you have dysfunctional marriages and family, you have a dysfunctional society.

 Happy Homemaking!

Leave a comment »

WHEN DID THINGS BECOME SO COMPLICATED?

As of lately, I’ve been watching a lot of Little House on the Prairie at night. Never before did I think that one day I would love this show. Only until a couple months ago when I was having one of those overwhelmed and stressed out mommy moments and began to realize the difficulties of trying to function in a dysfunctional society, did I appreciate the simplicity of the way things were before.

This was a world that was more slow paced, private, and quiet. Before computers, before video games, before PTA meetings, before hectic schedules, before…well, you get my point.

 I guess the reason I enjoy Little House on the Prairie so much is because deep down, I yearn for such a society and lifestyle when it comes to everyone knowing their assignment and role in the community. I desire for the peace and freedom that Charles and Laura Engels enjoyed with their family. Violence and crime was not the order of the day. Their children walked freely to and from school without worrying about some crazy person kidnapping or assaulting them in the process. The doors of homes did not have to be locked and dead bolted at night for fear of thieves breaking in. Children honored their parents and parents cherished their children. People ate and for the most part grew their own organic and fresh foods. Overmedication of drugs was certainly not on the scene. Most of all, God was alive and well in the everyday lives of the people.

 When did it all become so complicated? I guess society and life gradually became complicated when we removed God from the picture. Life became complicated when we decided that marriage and family was no longer relevant. Life became complicated when we convinced ourselves that homosexuality was acceptable. Life became complicated when we decided that filth and immorality was entertainment for the public. Life became complicated when men and women walked away from their responsibilities at home and to each other. Life became complicated when the food and water supply became tainted with steroids and chemicals that fill people with disease and death.

“The aspects of things that are most important for us are hidden because of their simplicity and familiarity”

-Ludwig Wittgenstein-

1 Comment »

Graduating from High School or from Playboy Academy?

What happened to just regular cap and gown photos?

If I saw this photo in my son or daughter’s yearbook, I would be first, upset and then I would have a lot of questions.

 
This beautiful young lady does not look like she is graduation from high school-an institution for learning and gaining skills that will be applied and developed in her life and career after high school. Instead, this image of herself place among other more modestly dressed and poised senior photos, says I’m looking for attention (in the wrong way). She might be a straight A student with a good reputation but one would never know it from this photo. Besides, this is a SCHOOL yearbook. There are plenty of other places she can post this photo  (facebook, twitter and her cell phone to name a few) if she is that proud of it. You would think that with all the social media outlets where pictures and videos are flying all over the place for the whole world to see, that this would be enough. Quite honestly, I’m surprised to see that yearbooks are still made and cherished in this high-tech digital age. Here’s my suggestion; schools should start making digital yearbooks (if they haven’t already) and maybe we can avoid problems like this….or better yet…parents should start checking their children at the door and recognize that somethings are just not appropriate and are just down right tacky!
 
I don’t blame her; I blame the parents for allowing her to submit the photo and saying it was acceptable to be put in a yearbook. I applaud the other students who stood up and deemed the photo distasteful and unacceptable to represent the school and themselves as a unified student body.
 
 
 
 
Leave a comment »

Will The Real Housewives Of America Stand Up, PLEASE????

You're Fired: The Real Housewives Have Taken Over!

If I see another reality show about so call “housewives”, I think I’m going to scream!

First, let me start by saying that most of these so called “housewives” we are witnessing on all this reality nonsense are, for the most part, not even housewives. They are ex-girlfriends/lovers, divorcees, or, at best, wannabes.

I am so sick of these women giving real housewives a bad rep. Being a housewife is certainly not the glamorous life that they portray it to be on TV. Shopping sprees, self-pampering, and finding time to cat fight, gossip, and create drama is hardly what being a real housewife is all about. If these women were real housewives they would not have time to engage in such meaningless activities. May I even add that I have not seen one episode (no matter the city) of a housewife lift a finger to clean, cook, do homework with the kids, dress and behave like a woman of dignity, or even pray and reverence God. Instead, they are more concerned with getting boob jobs, money, and ratings.

I think that real housewives who take this position seriously and understand its value and the effect it has on the family and society should stand up against the media and the illusion they feed our society, especially women and mothers who think that this is what being a wife and mother is all about.

Casting Call:

Seeking Godly, modest housewives in every city of America for a new reality show titled:

The Real Housewives of Virtue

Disclosure: Might not get good ratings due to the no drama, sex, and foolishness act established by God Productions.

Leave a comment »

Menstruation: Curse or Blessing?

I’m probably among the small minority of women who actually enjoys and looks forward to having a menstrual cycle every month. Over the years and as I have matured into a full grown woman, I have realized not only the physical benefits to having a cycle, but I have come to know the spiritual benefits of a woman’s menstrual cycle as well.

Every 28 days or so I have been blessed to have a bodily function that has been purposed and designed by God to prepare me for potential pregnancy, to natural cleanse and rid my body of waste, and as a time for reconnection to one’s self , God and nature. During this special time of month, I have noticed that I am deeply connected with myself and God due to the changes in a woman’s hormone levels and other phsychological and physical changes that take place. I am able to think clearer and be more intuned with the person God has created me to be.

Yea, I know a woman’s period can bring on mood swings, personality changes, and not to mention the lack of energy and fatigue that takes place during this time but don’t get me wrong, I have all these symptoms and more but for the most part, this is the only time when I can get mentally and physcially still and quiet. Any other time of the month, I am so concerned with running my household and taking care of business that I forget to take care of myself and when my cycle starts, nature forces me to slow down, take a breather, get back to myself, evaluate, reflect, reorganize, and plan (all in my head of course).

Having a period is not a curse but it’s a necessary function in order to produce life and keep a woman clean and healthy. Trying to stop a woman from having a cycle or interring with a woman’s cycle can be harmful, unwise and against God’s intent for woman, man, and the family. Birth control or anything else that alters a woman’s cycle has been proven to have a negative affect on a woman’s body. Why mess with nature? I know it’s not easy dealing with PMS and other symptoms of that a menstrual cycle can bring, but nothing good and of value hardly ever comes easy.

Happy Homemaking!

2 Comments »

Even Washing Dishes Glorifies God!

 

 

Sometimes I feel like all my housework is in vein. After all, as soon as I wash the dishes, sweep the floors, organize the toys, and wash clothes, it’s all going to get dirty all over again (most times, in a matter of minutes.) Then, I remember what I read in Ecclesiastes 2:  17-26 verses:

17 So I hated life, because the work that is wrought under the sun was grievous unto me; for all is vanity and a striving after wind. 18 And I hated all my labor wherein I labored under the sun, seeing that I must leave it unto the man that shall be after me. 19 And who knoweth whether he will be a wise man or a fool? yet will he have rule over all my labor wherein I have labored, and wherein I have showed myself wise under the sun. This also is vanity. 20 Therefore I turned about to cause my heart to despair concerning all the labor wherein I had labored under the sun. 21 For there is a man whose labor is with wisdom, and with knowledge, and with skillfulness; yet to a man that hath not labored therein shall he leave it for his portion. This also is vanity and a great evil. 22 For what hath a man of all his labor, and of the striving of his heart, wherein he labored under the sun? 23 For all his days are [but] sorrows, and his travail is grief; yea, even in the night his heart taketh no rest. This also is vanity. 24 There is nothing better for a man [than] that he should eat and drink, and make his soul enjoy good in his labor. This also I saw, that it is from the hand of God. 25 For who can eat, or who can have enjoyment, more than I? 26 For to the man that pleaseth Him [God] giveth wisdom, and knowledge, and joy; but to the sinner he giveth travail, to gather and to heap up, that he may give to him that pleaseth God. This also is vanity and a striving after wind.

You see in these verses that Solomon “hated life”. He felt all of his hard work and labor was in vein. He was so concerned with who would come after him when he was gone to destroy what he had built and accomplished. Solomon did not want a foolish person to be responsible for his accomplishments after he was no longer king.

This story can be approached several ways, but when I read it I automatically saw how this applied to my life as a homemaker and mother. A mother and homemaker’s life can be somewhat redundant, to say the least. It’s not glamorous, it get’s boring, the chores are never really done, and Lord knows, we surely don’t get the praise and thanks that we think we deserve. The most wonderful job in the world can yet be the most stressful and frustrating job as well. God; however, reminds us that nothing that we do for Him is in vein. He sees everything we do. No matter what a person’s title, job, or position it should be done as if God is the only person watching and let him be the one to reward us for our good works.

The life and role of a homemaker and mother is not meaningless. Even washing dishes honors and glorifies God!

Leave a comment »